Strange times, smoke alarms and compassion: maintaining positive mental health
Nikki Ryall
As a person who is now working from home, since lockdown measures were introduced in the UK, I have been very lucky. I still have my family, my livelihood, my friends who I chat to online and my health and gratitude are two of the things which have kept me going during the ‘strange’ times as well as gratitude that I have been one of the fortunate ones. Very fortunate indeed.
I have had an interesting insight into my learners’ lives which I would not have previously had. I have heard dogs and children, seen pictures hanging on walls which give away something about the person’s likes or hobbies, heard or seen hands or arms of partners or other family members bringing cups of tea and generally gotten to know a little more about my learners and their home lives. I am fortunate that my pets and children have not strayed into my Teams or Zoom meetings and I have also managed to avoid deliveries, phone calls and other interruptions to my online teaching sessions – and I am very grateful for all of that – although I clearly realise I have now tempted fate!
As I have been carrying out my monthly learner review meetings online I have also however noticed some variation in how people are feeling psychologically and how they have coped with the circumstances we find ourselves in.
The thing I share most with my learners is the wobbly nature of the ups and downs we have all experienced in dealing with this scenario and I am grateful I understand some of the ways my brain works, which at least allow me to understand why I seem to be experiencing some complex and shifting emotions and information about which I have shared with my learners in discussions of their wellbeing as part of my safeguarding responsibilities.
There is much talk of the pandemic in mental health that may ensue after the physical epidemic of Covid-19/Coronavirus and this is as a result of the fact that there are so many different mental health risks currently in play including: loss; trauma; abuse; social isolation.
Apart from the obvious potential loss of loved ones and family which may have occurred since the epidemic began, there is also a loss of routine, loss of jobs, loss of normality and loss of contact with others and all of these may trigger previous emotions associated with other losses. These can be extreme emotions at times and our inability to express ourselves whilst being confined with family, or perhaps with no-one to talk things through with as a result of shielding, may all make things feel even worse.
And then there’s the amygdala – or as some call it ‘our lizard brain’ or our inner ‘smoke alarm’. This is our alert mechanism – a bit like an early warning system in our brains which is in place to alert us of danger and instigate our fight, flight, freeze response so we can escape.
Yes, you guessed it, at this current moment we cannot escape but our amygdala doesn’t have the ability to reset at will, it will keep on making us feel anxious and overwhelmed, wanting to run away or fight anyone we meet or just hide away and do nothing, until the circumstances change or we get used to a new circumstance.
In terms of lockdown I noticed people were at first quite emotional and worried and then seemed to settle into a routine and understand and accept their new situation. Things stabilised, new techniques allowed people to communicate, develop new strategies for working and coping and adopt new daily and weekly routines, calming the amygdala. We knew what was coming the next day so no need to worry so much. It took time but we had reset the smoke alarm!
But in the last few weeks with more talk of ‘release’ and ‘the new normal’, children going back to school and no-one manning the supermarket entrance (my experience this week) things are changing again and people don’t know what to expect.
The amygdala is reacting like a faulty smoke alarm – it is like you are burning the toast and it is screaming that the entire house is on fire. So how do we reset it? Sadly there is no easy ‘reset button’ no batteries to remove to quieten our minds, so where can we turn?
Some things we can try I have found people have an aversion to, like mindfulness. I have seen people roll their eyes when this is mentioned and tell me they don’t want to sit cross-legged and chant – saying it’s not how they work and I appreciate that. It’s not for everyone but there are other ways to be mindful, to have some time off from hearing the siren, to rest our minds and at least find a little respite.
Hobbies like sewing, knitting and gardening can help by distracting us and maintaining our focus on something engaging. Exercise which releases positive chemicals into our brains can be a good solution. Reading can act as a distraction and some people find music helpful, whether playing or listening or perhaps even painting or making things and maybe this is why baking was so popular I the first few weeks? I think I still have a banana bread waistline!
If there is one thing I have observed and learned through this period and which will help me as things keep changing is to find what works for me, plan it in routinely and accept that I am experiencing a natural reaction to extreme events. In short, I need to be compassionate towards myself and understand that if I need to talk about how I am feeling that this is also a very good thing to do, but that I need to do what works for me and tell people what that might be.
There is a resource from Mind which can help in this regard for anyone who wants to have these conversations in the workplace whether you are staff or management and it is here:
We are all going through some strange times and now more than ever need to appreciate that we all have mental health and need to try and maintain it as positively as we can and help each other with understanding and compassion to reset the smoke alarm and get through this together at each new stage.
Nikki Ryall delivers Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Panda Education and Training. She is a qualified psychotheraputic counsellor and hypnotherapist. Please click here to find out about the Mental Health and Wellbeing course.
